@LiftHeavyAndRun: @funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men.
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@tastefactory: Most kids have a stuffed animal or blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds
@JustDontBugMe: [Secret Meeting] God: We need to create something Magical Angel: Yes, Sir G: Call it Unicorn A: *Tries and fails G: Call it rhinoceros
@tastefactory: [on date] ME: I'll have a steak WAITER: How would u like that cooked? ME: Uhh with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes at date*