@KevinFarzad: FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious.
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@envydatropic: If you arrive home, it's not a holiday, and your driveway is full of family member's cars, keep going.......It's an intervention
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
@NorCalBratt: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Me, to my empty bag of Oreos.
@BlindChow: Columbus: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Well– Columbus: *just yanks me out of my car and drives off in it*