@bridger_w: Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
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@SamuelHLowe: I'm sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don't really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
@DanMentos: My coworker used to joke "I'm allergic to most nuts, but not donuts!". Until Bill brought in peanut butter donuts. He died in the ambulance.
@BuckyIsotope: Sir, the children at the petting zoo are unhappy. They think our animals are lame *stares off into distance* We're gonna need a bigger goat
@rationalists: Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen.