@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
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@AnOrangeSNES: Dear Abby, I never thought this would happen to me. Today I met a sexy woman who told me I write letters to the wrong publication.
@Elizasoul80: First date Him: What do you do? Me [pulls out a Victoria's Secret catalog that I've clearly glued photos of my face into] "I'm a model."
@SoulYodeler: Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?