@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
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@2014longview: Cop pulled me over said "papers" I replied with "scissors, I win" and drove off. Now I'm doing hard time on the rock.
@jonnysun: starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes
@_4kidscrazy: Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......