@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
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@Dis0beyJay: *First Date* Friend: Women like a little rebellion in a guy Me:Ok *Later* Her: So, tell me about your day? Me: I don't have to tell you shit
@BobbyAwful: I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches.
@inSanelySami: Lance Armstrong should keep his awards. Last time I rode a bike doped up, I ran into a parked zebra.
@TheBoydP: God making Khaki God: I want a material that can be dressed up or dressed down Angel: Nice! G: But it shows every pee drip A: Hilarious!