@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
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@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift
@natedeschaine: How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive
@Ideal_Victoria: *experiences all five stages of grief while the waiter walks by my table with what I thought was my dinner*
@naughtywriter2: I have a friend whose thighs don't touch..I was jealous until a breeze came up..It sounded like a turbo fan in wind tunnel. Small favors.