@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
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@TheMichaelRock: Her: ID please Me: for? Her: alcohol Me: my beard is almost white Her: still need it Me*whispers* I know why you work at a gas station
@dfaber84: I wonder how Jeff Bezos became the richest guy in the world. - Me as I take 47 Amazon boxes out of the house
@LoveNLunchmeat: My eyesight is just terrible since having kids. I'm always seeing double. It's a nightmare! Optometrist: Ma'am you have identical twins...