@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
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@JustASmirk: My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed.
@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."
@SuperJuanderer: if you took every species of rattlesnake in the US and laid them end to end, I would yell at a safe distance, "STOP DOING THAT!"
@theshantilly: "Ma'am, are you aware that you were going 92 in a 55? I'm gonna need you to step out of the car." "Um, I have a boyfriend."