@TheBoydP: Get ahead at the office by taking work home with you over the weekend. No need to work on it just make sure people see you take it home...
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@simoncholland: Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars.
@DirtMcTurd: "Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck." -The Government
@hazelmotes1: Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with "daaaaad I have to peeeeee"
@bengulate: My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.