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@TeejayRush: "Get in the van if you want to live."
@MartaEffing: [Puzzle Group Therapy]
Crossword: Just once, someone use a pen!
Sudoku: Nobody likes math.
Jigsaw: ..Then they glued me together! *sobs*
@theshamingofjay: I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours
@brandynwiththey: Facebook account for sale, friends included.
@JWilsonGA: I don't know what "swag" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent.
@TheTweetOfGod: "And thou shalt know those whom God has chosen for eternal salvation in the following manner: they shall retweet this." Revelation 4:12.