@DadandBuried: Get married and have kids so you can spend your Saturday going apple picking instead of doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.
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@tsm560: Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
@ch000ch: ME: i'm having a lovely time tonight my date: why do u keep yelling "ME" before every sentence
@QwertyJones3: Watch it bro, your mouth's writing checks your body can't cash. Because you write really sloppy with the pen in your mouth. Seriously, wtf?
@Steven37366100: Me : Well, despite the difficulties, we’ve made the best of a bad situation Life: Yeah, I’m going to need those lemons back