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@davidharvey: Get off my lawn, Pokemon Go edition
@BadIuckBrian: Voted class president. Assassinated.
@nPhelendriqal: There's nothing horribler than a word that isn't real.
@JasonLastname: Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be YOUR blood.
@XplodingUnicorn: Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?
Me: I don't even think about work at work.