@Breadery: How do stick men play fetch with their dog?

@ChickenMclovin: I told my sandwich to "go make me a girlfriend"

@TheToddWilliams: Are you Chinese? Well, how about you?" - Chinese Checkers

@TGIJeff: When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water

@KattsDogma: [New Job Diary] Day 1: They all seem very ni-SOMEONE TOOK MY LUNCH MY LUNCH IS GONE SOMEONE STOLE MY-oh wait nvm there it i-MY STAPLERS GONE