@FlyJ_: *Gets back at the birds by pooping on their bird houses*
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@ILikeFaucet: Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?
@SondraDeeMe: My dance moves are best described as a woman trying to put on pants 4 sizes too small, with a wasp flying around her head.
@crunchenhanced: [ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!