@FlyJ_: *Gets back at the birds by pooping on their bird houses*
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@LoveYoorFate: The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can't hear you" over and over
@mrtruthandsoul: My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
@DanKCharnley: Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son. "Sir this is Urban Outfitters" Do you have any 'baes'? "Please leave"
@yaboybillnye: SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.