@gianni_bcn: *Gets disqualified for biting opponent's ear on a chess tournament*
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@3sunzzz: Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security.
@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired
@Arroia: Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
@PHDaniel_Street: Tomorrow...trade cell phones with your significant other for the day...see how many of you are single by the end of the day...