@badAzz_mom: *gets lockjaw when putting on eyeliner*
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@AimeeHelene1: 1st day of hunting season: *puts on camo* *climbs up in tree stand* *waits w/binoculars to see one hunter accidentally shoot another hunter*
@Jaywoo74: Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE
@FrenulumBreve: Executioner: final words? Executionee:Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Er: you done? Ee: didn't buy me as much time as I thought actually.