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@eluna333: *gets Ouija board*
Spirits, are there Pringles in the kitchen?
@SirEviscerate: Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment.
@mrjohntofu: Saw a unicorn using a phone booth and all I can think is, who is she calling?
@msmegmensa: A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles.
@MableGertrude: It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
@cwhudson: [Olive Garden]
PATRON: there are so many types of pasta
WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless