@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang
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@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.
@deedragonhunter: Coworker: What's twitter like? Me: The door handle is broken and the maid is drunk.
@uccjeb: When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer.
@WilliamRodgers: Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!