@FillWerrell: Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.
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@Sassafrantz: Gynecologist: ok, I just need you to open up... Me, interrupting: As a middle child, I never felt good enough. Gynecologist: Um, your legs
@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
@CornOnTheGoblin: [goes to sign up for course on how to handle bad news better] "sorry, we're full" [lights myself on fire]