@ch000ch: (getting murdered) please i have a Sims family
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@Schmoodles: Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I ? Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.
@SequelsWeWant: The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee.
@dumbbeezie: I don't care how many stars this restaurant has, I'm ordering the grilled cheese sandwich
@david8hughes: [at the gun store] Me: I'll take that gun & a box of ammo Clerk: that'll be $250 Me [with a gun & a box of ammo]: no