@o__0Dev: Getting out of bed in the morning always gave me a headache until I tried it feet first.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.