@hoopnazi: getting real tired of hearing opinions on murder from people outside the murderer community
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@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
@RexHuppke: Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: "Still not sure if we like it, tbh."
@carlyken: Give it to me straight "I'd really like to have sex with you-" Now give it to me gay "-r boyfriend."
@iLikeCatShirts: Therapist: please tell me a little about what brought you both here today. Wife: We don't talk. Plus he is so literal. Me: My truck.