@lasergirl70: Getting rid of my cleaning person sounded like a good way to save money, until it came time to do the cleaning.
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@FattMernandez: One of my biggest fears is that before I die, spiders will evolve the ability to coordinate their legs and run like horses.
@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
@FriendlyAssh0le: if you're having a bad day, remember, there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on themselves.