@WoodyLuvsCoffee: GF told me she wanted to write her "biography" & I said "autobiography" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place.
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@noog: "I think that kid's a robot" What? "Look at his mouth" Relax they're just braces *backs away slowly* "That's exactly what a robot would say"
@dankashane20: I want to get a medical bracelet that says, "Shy" so I can I just hold it up during social situations.
@lisaxy424: My neighbor broke up w her bf and piled all his stuff on the curb and I just added a boxspring to it bc I've been meaning to get rid of it
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: DOCTOR: You need to excercise portion control. ME: Thank God. For a second I thought you said I needed to exercise.