@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: I can’t run as fast as everybody else. Me: Why not? 3-year-old: I don’t have enough feet.
@Cryborg2000: [calling my cousin while babysitting his kids] yo the one with the ski mask and the knife is refusing to go to bed
@TrueTorontoGirl: Ironically I’m watching an exercise infomercial because I’m too lazy to get the remote.