@HatfieldAnne: *gingerly maneuvers the garbage can back into place between a stack of crown molding we'll never use and your antique pesticide collection*
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@TheCiscoKidder: Whenever somebody asks me what my hobby is, there is a long uncomfortable pause and then I back away until I can't see them anymore.
@TheMichaelRock: [at restaurant]] 8yo: why does mom eat half of your food? Me: because.. Wife *evil glare* Me *terrified* because I don't want it.