@HatfieldAnne: *gingerly maneuvers the garbage can back into place between a stack of crown molding we'll never use and your antique pesticide collection*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@uncle_fescue: Judge: jury, how do you find the defendant? Me: [whispering] dude, he's like…right there. Judge: there's no talking Me: [pointing]
@KKAlThani: "How do we hide Superman's identity?" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled "With glasses!" & everyone started clapping for him.
@CaucasianJames: Doctor: you need to improve your diet what do you have for breakfast Me: eggs Doctor: Me: ok reese’s eggs
@Cheeseboy22: I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word "whatevs" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run.