@RobElliottComic: Giraffes born in American Zoos are Giraffrican Americans
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@salmarch79: ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction
@MeganGetsMoney: Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family.
@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.
@HatfieldAnne: Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.