@kelkulus: Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a "romcom" so I'm going to assume she means "Roman Combat" and put on Gladiator.
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@FloodyHippie: I support Greenpeace because I care about environmental activism, just not enough to do any of the real work myself.
@Cpin42: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up.