@AndyAsAdjective: Girl, did you take a massage therapy course at a community college with questionable credentials? Because you're rubbing me the wrong way.
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@weinerdog4life: When God invented snakes he was like do you want legs or do you want to look like a scary belt, too late scary belt
@abbycohenwl: how to have good hair: - have bad hair - walk around like you have that hair on purpose
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wonder if the people who camp out in front of stores for Black Friday sales realize there are online sales too.