@JennyJohnsonHi5: Girl from my high school posted on Facebook that she got a "constellation prize" at a church carnival yesterday. She skipped school a lot.
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@Marcmywords2: Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look.
@iliezabeth: CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?
@shatterpants: When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers.
@LackOfShame: "You have 15 seconds to convince me of why I should call you back. Good luck." - my voicemail message