@StockSwaff: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy.
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@iwearaonesie: *comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack
@professorxavi: *Cute girls approaches* "You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*
@DanMentos: "Hello?" Dad come get me from practice "Sorry I'm going into a tunnel" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* …landline