@OBiiieeee: girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to "constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones" they stop replying to texts
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@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@trevso_electric: If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
@NYC_Blonde: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.