@OBiiieeee: girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to "constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones" they stop replying to texts
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@MadcapsTPS: Yes I brought my own shot glasses and started a party at my table, but is that really a reason to throw someone out? Worst library ever.
@TragicAllyHere: *turns around in my chair and I'm stroking a whole glazed ham in my lap* I've been expecting you.
@dshack8: 3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave
@shariv67: The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.