@andyerikson: Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually.
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@MichaelTrying: "I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service." "Dude this isn't email I'm standing in front of you."
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty.
@morgan_murphy: I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby.