@donni: Give a man a fish. Sure, why not? Go around giving strangers weird fish gifts. Who cares
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@wheresthesnacks: After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die.
@Brianhopecomedy: In a marriage it's always a competition to see who can look busier, hence why I sighed and shook my head repeatedly while writing this.
@HatfieldAnne: When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.