@bridger_w: Give yourself something to look forward to tomorrow: Text a friend, "I think you owe me an apology," then turn off your phone and go to bed
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@carlyaquilino: *lays in bed* "Did I leave the oven on? When's the last time I even baked anything? Like 6 months? I should probably still check to be sure"
@kiel_phillips: ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas