@KentWGraham: Given the American diet, don’t you think we’d have greater success locating missing children if we put their faces on liters of soda?
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@BrainFumbles: [throws dirty diaper away] - OMG WHAT R U DOING?! - it's gross im not touching that - GET THE BABY OUT OF THE TRASH & CHANGE IT! - ugh, fine
@Area51eh: LOL pills that say don't take with alcohol. Ok Doc, how do YOU suggest I take my medication then?
@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@BubblesnBooze: My phone just changed CrossFit to Croissant, this phone really knows me better than any human.