@nonchalantnacho: Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy.
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@H0TMessBarbie: I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore.
@novicefather: My toddler fell, smashed his face into the cement, then played it off like he was giving the ground a kiss. No DNA test necessary.