@Brianhopecomedy: Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Smooheed: If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese
@JohnLyonTweets: Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours.