@imchriskelly: Glad they redesigned Gmail---I've been dying to compose an email farther to the right.
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@MeganGetsMoney: Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family.
@chriscr10571: The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies." I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"