@sweet_toof: Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cluedont: If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.
@murrman5: [to psychic gf] the spirits you talk to make fun of me don't they "no" [she laughs for no reason] AHHHH *punching the air* FIGHT ME SPIRITS
@ArfMeasures: [Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex