@sweet_toof: Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours
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@XplodingUnicorn: Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint.
@alldrolledup: It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit.