@markydoodoo: Go suck an egg. Lick a mango. Breathe on an avocado. Make everyone at the grocery store uncomfortable.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Me: *sigh* I've had so many shellfish lovers Doctor: You mean selfish? [30 crabs come out of my pants] Doctor: Haha here's some cream
@thejessigirl45: Does anyone else bring a bag of clever disguises to the grocery store in case there's a wine sampling booth that day?
@mishakey: I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you.
@XplodingUnicorn: I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.