@AngelaEhh: Go to bed barstool. You're drunk
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@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
@KayRants: If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding.
@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.
@Kelly_skeleton: Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her