@sbellelauren: god bless the 1st weatherman to dress as danny zuko & plead with sandy
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@TheBoydP: Wife: What do you think our song is? Me: I'd have to say "Happy Birthday". It's the song we've sung together the most. Wife: Idiot...
@oldmanweldon: UNITED EMPLOYEE: Beat this guy up so we can take the thing he paid for. LITERALLY THE POLICE: Okay