@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
@pinningnut: My husband and I are thinking about leaving everything to our dog. What he will do with $20.00 I don't know. But I hope he enjoys it.
@curlycomedy: Thank you for fixing my bends, but why on Earth did you crack my rims?!
@AtticusFinch79: [McDonald's drive thru]
ME: i'd like a happy meal with a coke
HIM: will that be a regular coke or an eight ball?
@Reverend_Scott: JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe.
[hands over present]
JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it-
[present is empty]
[Jesus and God hi-5]
COMMENTS