@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
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@nachosarah: hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield
@GuyEndoreKaiser: After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions.
@stephenjmolloy: Pilot: "What does this button do?" *intercom turns on* Pilot: "Doesn't do anything. Not sure what any of these buttons do."
@shariv67: When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."