@snackpup: God must have really liked saturn
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@robfee: Everyone in horror movies: *loud scream* It was probably just the wind *a ghost flies across room* Just the wind *dog gets cut in half* Wind
@tastefactory: *ring ring* Hello? "If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000" OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM "I won't if u-" Haha gotcha, leave a message
@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.