@JRehling: God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis.
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@ThaJawn: (playing Monopoly) Hour 1: Why don't we play this more? Hour 16: *holding bloody napkins to nose* Does it look broken?
@Jenny4ashley: [gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"
@dsmitty62: Today is "bring your dog to work day". I thought it was "bring your dawg to work day". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg