@shutupmikeginn: Good job Twitter #RAW
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@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.
@mjkspeaks: ME: [waking up from nap] HER: *looking angry* when i said i wanted to sleep with you this isn’t what i meant
@saladinahmed: hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe
@shkeeber: I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?