@Dawn_M_: Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster.
@daemonic3: [gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] "It's negative" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative