@Dawn_M_: Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses.
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@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
@EndhooS: [Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* "Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed
@WheelTod: Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?