@Dawn_M_: Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses.
@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans.
Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?
@badAzz_mom: *gets lockjaw when putting on eyeliner*
@earthfalcon33: PRANK TIME: tie your friend's shoelaces together and when he tries to walk throw a wolf at him
@ThisLocalHater: *taps corndog*
Is this thing on?
@Dorkstress: Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle?
Me: Just some water.
Cop: Ma'am that's wine...
Me: Jesus did it again!!