@pissrifle: good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude's blood/bones
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@KyleMcDowell86: *puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen "Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?" *Im in the bushes giggling*
@GuyAdvisor: Remember, Kids... If you can't say anything nice, well, it's probably hilarious and worth getting into trouble over anyway.
@tucker_doherty: Daylight Saving Time switches on November 6. That's right, this presidential campaign is an hour longer than you thought.