@pissrifle: good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude's blood/bones
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@truegritrumble: (Spelling Bee) JUDGE: Your word is catastrophe. ME: Y. O. U. R. F. A. C. E. *all the mics in the room simultaneously drop to the floor*
@thenoahkinsey: Some are mad Trump won. Others are mad that the anti-Trumps are mad. I'm mad that you open up a new bag of chips and it's only 1/3 full.