@RalstonReports: Good news, everyone. I was robbed last night. But I confronted the robber and he agreed to set up a joint robbery task force with me.
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@nachosarah: hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected
@SummerCandyEyes: The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck.
@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.