@comfynumb2012: Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle.
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@notalogin: Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes
@Piecezilla: [Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast