@comfynumb2012: Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is
@jus4golf: My daughter wants a smart car for her 16th birthday. She thinks it will do her geometry homework.
@markydoodoo: The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet.