@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.
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@BackrowSeats: Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?
@BigBBanter: Friend is going bungee jumping so I told him he was born because of a broken rubber and he could die the same way. He didn't laugh...
@UncleDuke1969: *cocks gun* Me: "Go ahead." Horse: "Just be cool, man." Me: "DRINK." Horse: "No problem. It's just a stupid expression."