@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.
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@girl_a_whirl: [Exorcism] Priest: What is your name? Demon: Jim Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim? Demon: Nice legs Carol Wife: Let's keep him. Next...
@revious: My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole
@krissywillbretz: [god creating raccoons] Angel: what do I do with all the leftover tiny people hands? God: hand me those cats.
@wolfpupy: a bunch of us teens are going out to the forest to burn a piece of paper that says 'responsibilities' on it. for symbolism