@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology.
@flyafuckingkite: When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken